Ouiser here. The three of us have a myriad of health issues going on from spider bites, to rare disorders causing raging boils on random parts of the body... I submit for your pleasure this installment of
Did She REALLY Just Say That??
okay thats fucking it
i need a bubble
do you have any ground cumin?
boil check... spider bite on neck check.... shit on stomach check...
bash myself in the cheek bone and eye with the computer as I am getting
out of bed check... wasp landing in my hair as I walk outside causing me
to turn into ninja and hit myself in the face with the computer
again... double fucking check .
doubt it aimee why
honey has excellent antimicrobial properties as well
lol and ack!
I have honey!
from a local farm!
smear some honey on that ass
b/c u take ground cumin and add enough water for a p[aste and slather that on the ass boil
omg im going to have a giant kill the boil salad on my ass tomorrow hahahaha
Truvy here. Live in Tucker, GA, for this blog post...about an hour and a half from M'Lynn who had to cancel on our playdate today, but we have dinner plans soon.
Why am I mere yards from I-285 (Satan's butthole) in a cheap motel? My 3 day doula workshop begins in the morning! And since it is impossible to get any reading done with a toddler in the house, even when recovering from surgery, I am cramming and skimming through these books like nobody's business. So of course, this is a great time to write a blog post....8 hours before my workshop w/ a book and a half left to skim. lol.
And how did I even end up where I am? When I was younger, I never thought about how I would parent. I thought people who co-slept were nuts. I had no clue about car seats. I was lucky, however, to see my amazing and gorgeous cousin have not one, but TWO preemies (32 and 25 (or 28?) weeks gestation...if memory serves)...and I'm not sure about the younger, but she breastfed the oldest like. a. boss. She would go to feed him on her 30 minute lunch break and everything. I don't even know how long she did it, but that image is forever in my mind.
So no I'm training to become a postpartum doula....and once I get that certification done, I will begin on my birth doula certification. And when I get a little more ambitious, I will tackle becoming a certified lacatation consultant to boot! And I am even thinking of becoming a midwife once my kiddos are all in high school or out of my house....but we shall see on that.
And one thing I get flack from everybody about? More than anything? I'm still rear-facing my three year old. Yea? And what about it? You know what I hear when you ask me why I'm still rear-facing? "Um, why is safety so important to you?" Hmm...let me think about it.....I worked on this perfect creation for 9 months before I even got to meet her, and she has been in my car for the last three years...yea, her safety is kind of a trivial thing to worry about I guess. -_- And, yes, I will turn her when she is 40 pounds, since that is the max on her seat, and then she will remain forward-facing in the harness until 65 pounds, which the FF max on the seat. Then she will be in a high-back booster. And she will be in the backseat until she is 12. She may never be involved in a wreck, but those "silly" precautions could very well save her life one day. So just stfu about my parenting decisions already. *end rant*
Ahem. Anyway. I also thought organics were dumb. Like...I thought they were actually bad because they were not handled as nonorganics are....but I saw the light on that one. Bluh. We aren't financially well off enough right now to go strictly organic and GMO-free and whatnot...and I also have zero energy and time (note to self: get some of this weight off!!!) until I can cut down on hours at work...of course, I heard talks they want to promote me possibly....go figure!
This is getting rambly...and I really should be reading...so I will leave you with this...
Don't knock it til you try it. It may sound stupid when you aren't the one faced with making the decisions. So just keep your lips shut or I may have to hit you with the southern standard, "Well bless your heart." And then run you over.