Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Where is the pause button?

Truvy here. Oi. Can the world just stop spinning for a moment?

I am a typical over-committer. Like bad. And right now is no exception. But it involves my passions, so I guess it's fine. lol.

So I got promoted at work to Customer Service Lead. Basically running the service desk, clearing up issues, and controlling the safe a couple times a week. I have been getting full time hours, which is a blessing, but at the same time I am so run down. I have 2 days a week reserved as my off days because those are my doula days. At least my current client is super cute and super sweet. =) Today was my third session with her and her mama, and I am definitely enjoying the postpartum doula gig. It feels right.

Since getting into the crunchy mindset, natural birth, peaceful parenting, and whatnot, I have learned some unsettling things about the state and area I have grown up in and still reside in. The hospital I had my daughter at just decided birth doulas aren't allowed. What the fork, right? And to boot, my state (Alabama) outlaws midwifery. It is a bonafide misdemeanor. Seriously. It's all jacked up.

So in addition to my day job and my profession, I am trying to stay involved with the Alabama Birth Coalition, the local La Leche League, and a local babywearing group. And of course the ABC and LLL monthly meetings were today and I couldn't make it....and the babywearing meetup is on a day I work and way too far of a drive. *le sigh*

So yea, my life is kinda nuts right now. Then throw in that I am going no-poo (day 27 begins in a few minutes! huzzah!) and starting a goal of feeding the fam on no more than $40 a week.....yea. Full plate. And I really oughtta clean the house. Or at least do a load of laundry. Work again tomorrow. Woohoo!

In brighter news, I now own 2 Ergos...and I LOVE them! I am borrowing a ring sling from the lending library, and it is amazing too! My little client loves snuggling in it with me while mommy is in the shower or napping. =) Definitely need to look into buying one!

Maybe next time I post I will have had a decent night's sleep. lol. Yea right. =)

<3 Truvy

New Poo For YOU

*looks around*

Well THAT'S different...

*feels hair*

Hmm...THAT'S different too...

Ouiser here. As you can see we're FINALLY getting around to tweaking the site a bit, new layout, working on a new logo and some super duper new features, one of which will be called "Moms Doing It For Themselves", which will focus on moms who run their own home based businesses. I'm still working on the 'questionnaire' for that one currently as the idea only came to be yesterday. I'm only Super Genius in small doses you know.

Since our last installment, M'Lynn finally got a diagnosis for her 'boils', Truvy started the Postpartum Doula journey and is well on her way, and I, Ouiser have decided to follow likewise (well maybe), but I've definitely decided to hop on the "Crunchy Path", the first step (for me) is going "No Poo".

For the uninitiated, No Poo means we're not using shampoo...not that we're eliminating (pardon the pun) the elimination process. See http://coderedhat.com/no-poo-method/ for further details on this. I'm on Day One myself and yeah, my hair feels...weird, but clean. I CAN'T QUIT PLAYING WITH IT!!!!

The Chunky Munky is FINALLY starting to pick up on the Potty Training thing and with a little luck we'll be out of Pull Ups by the end of the summer. Our vacation is next week so we can REALLY get to focusing on that particular aspect along with some inexpensive family activities during the week. This also means that I get to go a whole BEE-YOO-TI-FUL NINE days without having to deal with PEOPLE. I'm soooo not a people person. At least when it comes to retail at any rate. I'm also sick of pizza and pepperoni wraps.

I need to become a SAHM...

Maybe when I finish writing my book(s)...


Thursday, April 11, 2013

Did She REALLY Just Say That??? Part Two

Ouiser here. The three of us have a myriad of health issues going on from spider bites, to rare disorders causing raging boils on random parts of the body... I submit for your pleasure this installment of

Did She REALLY Just Say That??

okay thats fucking it
i need a bubble
do you have any ground cumin?

ass boil check... spider bite on neck check.... shit on stomach check... bash myself in the cheek bone and eye with the computer as I am getting out of bed check... wasp landing in my hair as I walk outside causing me to turn into ninja and hit myself in the face with the computer again... double fucking check .
doubt it aimee why
honey has excellent antimicrobial properties as well
lol and ack!
and lol
I have honey!
from a local farm!
smear some honey on that ass
b/c u take ground cumin and add enough water for a p[aste and slather that on the ass boil
omg im going to have a giant kill the boil salad on my ass tomorrow hahahaha

Friday, April 5, 2013

How Did That Happen!?

Truvy here. Live in Tucker, GA, for this blog post...about an hour and a half from M'Lynn who had to cancel on our playdate today, but we have dinner plans soon.

Why am I mere yards from I-285 (Satan's butthole) in a cheap motel? My 3 day doula workshop begins in the morning! And since it is impossible to get any reading done with a toddler in the house, even when recovering from surgery, I am cramming and skimming through these books like nobody's business. So of course, this is a great time to write a blog post....8 hours before my workshop w/ a book and a half left to skim. lol.

And how did I even end up where I am? When I was younger, I never thought about how I would parent. I thought people who co-slept were nuts. I had no clue about car seats. I was lucky, however, to see my amazing and gorgeous cousin have not one, but TWO preemies (32 and 25 (or 28?) weeks gestation...if memory serves)...and I'm not sure about the younger, but she breastfed the oldest like. a. boss. She would go to feed him on her 30 minute lunch break and everything. I don't even know how long she did it, but that image is forever in my mind.

So no I'm training to become a postpartum doula....and once I get that certification done, I will begin on my birth doula certification. And when I get a little more ambitious, I will tackle becoming a certified lacatation consultant to boot! And I am even thinking of becoming a midwife once my kiddos are all in high school or out of my house....but we shall see on that.

And one thing I get flack from everybody about? More than anything? I'm still rear-facing my three year old. Yea? And what about it? You know what I hear when you ask me why I'm still rear-facing? "Um, why is safety so important to you?" Hmm...let me think about it.....I worked on this perfect creation for 9 months before I even got to meet her, and she has been in my car for the last three years...yea, her safety is kind of a trivial thing to worry about I guess. -_- And, yes, I will turn her when she is 40 pounds, since that is the max on her seat, and then she will remain forward-facing in the harness until 65 pounds, which the FF max on the seat. Then she will be in a high-back booster. And she will be in the backseat until she is 12. She may never be involved in a wreck, but those "silly" precautions could very well save her life one day. So just stfu about my parenting decisions already. *end rant*

Ahem. Anyway. I also thought organics were dumb. Like...I thought they were actually bad because they were not handled as nonorganics are....but I saw the light on that one. Bluh. We aren't financially well off enough right now to go strictly organic and GMO-free and whatnot...and I also have zero energy and time (note to self: get some of this weight off!!!) until I can cut down on hours at work...of course, I heard talks they want to promote me possibly....go figure!

This is getting rambly...and I really should be reading...so I will leave you with this...

Don't knock it til you try it. It may sound stupid when you aren't the one faced with making the decisions. So just keep your lips shut or I may have to hit you with the southern standard, "Well bless your heart." And then run you over.


Friday, March 15, 2013

That Couldn't Wait?

Truvy here with more random things my kid says. I really ought to invest in a tape recorder.

Just now I went to the potty. As I sat there, the kid kept informing me, via yelling across the house, that she wanted to watch Caillou. Then she trots down the hall and says she needs to pee-pee. So she sits on her potty all the while telling me how she wants to watch Caillou. Then she suddenly stops and says "OK, I'm gonna pee-pee now." She does her business, says "I'm a big girl," informs me yet again that she wants to watch Caillou, and trots back to the living room. When I get out to the living room, smarty-pants has already pulled up an episode of Caillou on Netflix (thanks a lot Windows 8) and is happily watching it. Crazy child....

Lil Bit's birthday is tomorrow...she will be 3. Ugh! We were shopping for some things for her party, and she felt it was her sworn duty to inform every child we saw that her birthday is soon. At all three stores.

Hubby was playing with her yesterday and laid on her tummy. He was addressing her as "pillow." She kept saying "No, Daddy! I'm [Lil Bit]!" She does this any time you call her something other than her name. Unless she initiates it. One night I was Mommy Dinosaur and she was Baby Dinosaur the entire time she was helping me with laundry and dinner. It was awesome. <3

Wednesday night, she couldn't sleep...so she ended up in bed with me somehow. She was playing with stickers and one ripped. Then you hear a distressed voice saying, "It's broken!" Then, very sullenly, "I'll never be happy again."

On morning she came up to me and said she had a baby and a heart in her tummy. =/ Not for another 30 years, kid.

"i yike naked! i want naked my booooty. my boooooty!" *booty shaking commences* <--A Facebook post from last week.

The same night of the sticker-ripping tragedy, I may or may not have passed gas. "Mommy! You farted again!" "Excuse me." "Thank you Mommy."

She also put a pair of my panties on as a Borat-style swimsuit...that was flipping hilarious. And she kept wiggling her booty and dancing around. I'm thinking it will be an excellent submission for her Senior yearbook.

Needless to say, I am not at a loss for daytime entertainment in this house.

And now I am being summoned to paint a picture "together! *jump*"

<3 Truvy

Monday, March 11, 2013

Did She Really Say That???

We have a new feature here on Champagne Mommyhood called "Did She REALLY Just Say That?" In it you'll find snippets of conversations between Truvy, M'Lynn and myself as well as possibly others. For our first installation:

T: awwwww hubs just baked cookies n brought me some w/ milk.
M: aw yay
O: aww maybe his pms is abating
T: I sure hope so
M: I am so glad I don't have hubby pms to deal with
I really have no interest in dating whatsoever.
T: lol
but you also don't get makeup cookies
M: Every once in awhile im like aw I need a man than im like hell no aint nobody got time for that
I can make myself make up cookies
T: lol!!!!
I know that feel as well

the only hard part is waiting til they firm up to eat them......
That could totally be taken 2 ways
im dieing here
I think I just peed my pants
*blinks* Did Truvy really just say that???

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Crapola That Comes Out Of My Toddler's Piehole

A Day In The Ears Of Truvy:

*points to a random person in the grocery store* "You got a naked booty!"

"I hungy." This single phrase is repeated Lord knows how many times throughout my day.

"I want another cheese." Mommy's reply, "You just had 3." As she is already pulling the cheese drawer out in the fridge and pointing to the sliced cheese instead of the string cheese I bought for her to snack on, "Dis one."

Mommy asks, "Would you like some yogurt?" "Yea! Yogurt." Mommy walks to the table, kid sits at the table, Mommy cracks the foil seal. "No. I don't want yogurt." Mommy hangs head in defeat and grabs a slice of cheese.

After I get off the potty. "You a big girl!" Why yes, small one, I am. Bahahaha.

"Daddy gon pop me."

"Daddy mad at me."

If she is doing something she knows she isn't supposed to, and you ask her a question or simply say her name..."Nuffin."

Constant night time phrases...When I'm reading a book to her, she picks up another book or forces to my hand to go back to page 1 and says, "Another story." As I leave the room or have left the room and she is nowhere near sleep, "Don't close the door!!!" Um...Mommy's butt is on the couch...your door is safe.

"Not dis one."

Mommy asks, "Do you want to watch SpongeBob, Adventure Time, or Phineas and Ferb." Toddler states her preference here, and Mommy flips to preferred show. Toddler freaks out and yells "Nooooo not dis one!!!" while waving her hands, with a pained look on her face. I have learned to leave it there, and she will eventually forget her protest.

"Mommy, I want juice." -.- Child, you will float away. Now go sit on the potty before we drown.

When she isn't getting her way..."Oh pease oh pease oh pease oh pease...." This can be said with a fairly happy face....or when tears are rolling, cheeks are red, and tantrum mode is set. And the sad....oh the sad.

PS-One of Mommy's favorite phrases (especially since I am recovering from having my gallbladder removed): "Go ask Daddy." ;)

A Day In The Ears Of Ouiser:

"NO!!!!" Usually said in response to anything I ask. "Do you wanna get up?" "Would you like some breakfast/lunch/dinner/nap/partridge in a pear tree?"

"Happy Happy! Happy Happy!" *while grabbing the Duck Dynasty DVD off the tv stand and pushing it at me. Chunky Munky's latest obsession is watching Duck Dynasty, which from what I've been told is rather unusual for the toddler bunch, but whatever. 

*turning the tv off* *toddles up to tv and looks at it*
"TV???What the hell??"*smacks television*

While driving down the road:

"JACKASS!" I do not take credit for this, I blame his daddy, who says this quite frequently because people in this state do not know how to drive. At all.

"Buuuuuuuuurrrrrnnnnnnn" I started saying this anytime we pass a store owned by the company I used to work for. Sadly the boy has picked up on it.

I'm such a terrible influence.

"Soft kitty, warm kitty" He's evidently trying to learn the "Soft Kitty" song from Big Bang Theory, and when we first got Jack (our cat), I would pet him with his hand and say "soft kitty" Unfortunately, Jack now gets called "Jackass" can't imagine why...

"c'mon!!" Mommy is old, and doesn't move as quickly as she used to. He says this to try and spurn me on to get me to do something more quickly. It doesn't work so well.

"I pooped/pee" That's great kid, but why won't you tell me you have to go BEFORE you go? This potty training thing isn't working out so well and I'll have to send you to school in diapers still and a rainbow will follow you everywhere.

Mommy's favorite phrase to use:

I'm telling Daddy what you've done.